Religion was never a major aspect in my life. I was baptized, and attended church regularly as a child, even attending Sunday school as a pre-teen and through my early teen years. However, I wasn’t forced to attend church, and we didn’t regularly pray as a family. My parents wanted me to CHOOSE to believe. They provided me all the tools and it was up to me to use them. Needless to say…I didn’t know that then, and in the 11th grade I lost a friend to suicide, and struggled to understand. I reached out to the minister of my old church and we prayed. I can honestly tell you, that it;s still a strange thing for me. Prayers seem hard to repeat, and I always feel a bit silly saying them.
My husband and I have 2 separate religions and although we are both Christians, our churches are very different. However, the one thing we were able to agree on when we had our daughter was that we wanted her to believe in God. We both struggled with our faith at different times in our lives, (me more than my husband) but we wanted to provide our daughter with a stronger belief system than we both had (still not sure how to do that) and thought bedtime prayers would be a great stepping stone. So we began as soon as we brought her home. For months we recited the “Our Father” each night before putting her to sleep.
Hmmm…Not exactly what I was hoping for, meaning after saying the Our Father, I don’t feel that warm and fuzzy feeling I was hoping to feel. So I did what I do best…I ran to Pinterest scouring the pages to find Prayers that we could pray as a family. The truth…I found some beautiful prayers. Prayers for my family, Prayers for my daughter and prayers for my husband. The reality however, they aren’t realistic on a day to day basis. At least not for me!
The truth is…most of the people I know, are living crazy busy lives and as much as I would like to say that I pray for wonderful understanding and compassion…sometimes…well Just NO. Sometimes I want to pray something like this…Dear God, today is over, another day gone. I haven’t killed anyone today although I thought of several ways I could be successful. I figured out that the baby’s onesie was on backwards BEFORE I finished changing her. There was space in the garbage can to throw away the empty formula tin after filling up the 5 bottles to get through the day. The baby only threw up once and thankfully the dog took care of that, my husband woke up next me well rested…good for him! We managed to make a grocery list and forget half of what we needed to survive like adults. Suppose we will try again tomorrow! AMEN
Sometimes, all we can do is try. Sometimes, people make us angry and although the Christian thing to do is pray for them…The reality is “I pray they weren’t so annoying, or ignorant” The question…Who determines how we pray? What signifies a correct or incorrect prayer? Why has prayer become something to be embarrassed about? The truth is…I’m not sure if I am doing this right, but for my family and myself…It feels right, and I suppose more than that we can not do.
Any thoughts? Any prayers? Any insight? If you enjoy a little vocal prayer perhaps you can pray along with Jarod and the long road home.